Feelings

Yami no Kaze · Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 8:23 am Post subject: Feelings

i know, i know, i haven't finished anything else yet. but this song really makes me think. so this is a short hisoka pov. lyrics in english and original french at the end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gov-Txc8RnE

Feelings

This song comes on every night at the same time. I don't even know why I listen to this station anymore. I could turn the radio off before it plays...but for the oddest of reasons that I'm not fully aware of...I turn it on. Like I have to hear it to sleep. It brings with it fleeting feelings that I otherwise forget.

Feelings on Tsuzuki. What can I say about him? I don't even know what I exactly feel. The closest thing I can describe it as, is a deep connection. Sometimes I feel that our pains are one. When I hear this song I know exactly what these feelings are but the second it ends they're gone.

Feelings on life. I lay awake at night when I should be sleeping and I begin to think. Life was so painful. It proved me to be fragile. It presented me with no choices, no chances of being anyone my father didn't want me to be.

And death...It released me from the torment, only to torture me in a different way. It stole me away in the night, not even allowing me to see the sunrise for the last time. It also gave me choices I never thought I'd have to face. Choices like where I wanted to "retire", and what I want to do for the rest of eternity.

When the realization that eternity is never ending sank in, I truly didn't know what to do. To think of forever and realizing there will never again be death...it's difficult. What does one do forever when they have forever to anything?

Feelings on childhood: Some how I feel I'm still connected to it. My body remanes the same as it always has. Children, myself included...for a very long time do not understand that they won't look as they do forever. We're innocent that way. Death and aging are far from our impossibly small, self encompassing minds. I sometimes feel as though I'm reliving it in an adults body. I've come to realize I have all the time in the world.

Feelings. Just...feelings. On everything and nothing all at the same time. On love and loss. Abandonment and new found hope. Life through death, hope through loss. Love through hatred. For the last few seconds of this song I'm frustraighted to tears. Why do I listen to it? As it ends, as every night...I realize that it forces me to come to terms with everything that I can't durring the day. When I'm pacing the floor or chasing down a lost soul. When I'm angry because Tsuzuki has screwed up again, or scared because I don't know if I'll make it out okay. When I look into Wakaba's eyes and tell her I'm fine and all I can think about is getting home so I can cry...it makes me think about it all. But mostly...it reminds me that I'm only human afterall...

fin~

O est 'IL'
Quand il m' abandonne
Toute la vie
Est loin

O est 'LUI'
J' aime sa voix d' homme
Sans lui 'IL' n' est rien

'Lui' est plus vieux
Je porte son pull marine
L' eau de ses yeux
Est bleue, d' un blue des mers de Chine

'IL' est mystrieux
Dans sa stratosphre
Entre les deux, je voulais
Les deux

Chorus

J' ai dans le coeur comme un poids
Dans la gorge une pine
De n' avoir fait le choix
'LUI' ou 'TOI'
Les fentres sont en bois
Et ces pluies assassines
Qui coulent au fond de moi
'LUI' ou 'TOI'

O est 'IL'?
Quand il n' y personne
Toute la ville s' teint

'TOI' et 'LUI'
Mes deux moitis d' homme
Sans eux je n'
Suis rien

'LUI' est si fort
Je ris quand il s' ennuis
Quand il a tort
L, je l' aime mieux encore, il dit:

Qu' 'IL', est amoureux
Comme l' eau aime la vague
Moi, sans les deux, j' ai du vague
A l' me

J' ai dans le coeur comme un poids
Des larmes d' encre de chine
Qui me montrent du doigt
'LUI' ou 'TOI'
Retrouver au fond de moi
Des rondes enfantines
Mais les chevaux de bois
Sont froids

english:

O is “IT”
When it gives up me
All life
Is far

O is “HIM”
I like his voice of man
Without him “IT” is nothing

Is older “to Him”
I wear his sweater marine
The water of its eyes
Is blue, of a blue China Seas

“IT” is mystrieux
In its stratosphre
Between the two, I wanted
Both

Chorus

I have in the heart like a weight
In the throat a prick
Not to have made the choice
“HIM” or “YOU”
The fentres are out of wood
And these rains assassinate
Who run at the bottom of me
“HIM” or “YOU”

Is O “IT”?
When it there nobody
All the city is tinted

“YOU” and “HIM”
My two moitis of man
Without them I
Am nothing

Is so strong “for HIM”
I laugh when it troubles
When it wrongly
L, I like it better still, it says:

That “IT”, is in love
As water likes the wave
Me, without both, I have vagueness
With me

I have in the heart like a weight
Tears of Indian ink
Who show me finger
“HIM” or “YOU”
To find at the bottom of me
Children's dances
But wooden horses
Are cold
_________________

laustic · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 660 Location: Florida

This is really lovely Smile