First attempt at fanfic 8D

Lima · Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 2

Well, there you go. My first try to put whatever-goes-inside-my-head-and-in-my-imagination into words.
Pathetic attempt, might I add. It sounded waaay better while it was still inside my head, safely locked.
How sad.

Title: Untitled.
Rating: For everyone.
Summary: Hisoka and Kurikara have a little chat...
Warnings: Uh, it makes no sense, really, kinda pointless, plotless, OOC, unrealistic... And yea.

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“So, tell me, boy. Why do you need a Shikigami in the first place?”
The answer was immediate; no trace of hesitation or second thoughts in the boy’s voice.
“I want to be stronger.”
Kurikara regarded the young shinigami, sitting in a straight, classic Japanese posture, his whole form giving nothing less but an aura of seriousness and determination.
Quite a contrast to the Shikigami’s leisure form, sprawled on a nearby rock.
“And why would you need to become stronger?”
Hisoka knew his answer for that question. He had thought it thoroughly during many sleepless nights, preparing for the time when someone would ask him this question, he’s have to answer with his all sincerity, from the very depth of his heart.
“I want to protect my...friends.” Slight pause before the last word. Even though he came to accept the answer, even if he repeated his reason over and over in his head, the words felt foreign on his lips.
With a jolt, he realized it was the first time he used the word “friend”, thinking about himself.
“That idiot of a partner you have?”
Hisoka’s lips quirked slightly for a second. “Him above anyone else.”
“That’s your only reason?”
“No.” Unconsciously, his hands tensed slightly. “I want to have my revenge.”
Kurikara cocked his eyebrow slightly, a small glint of amusement appearing in his eyes.
Hisoka had a distinct feeling he knew what the dragon was thinking about.
“Revenge, you say. Such an immature reason to gain power. Revenge won’t mend the past, you know.”
Green eyes glared at his companion.
“ Revenge and protection. Such noble reasons. Say, boy, you’re from an old and royal family, right? You’re ancestors must’ve been proud warriors.”
Hisoka’s whole posture tensed. “And just what that has to do with anything?”
The question was pointedly ignored.
“I will forgive you, Shinigami, for lying to me, only because you are not so totally aware of your lie. I’m giving you one more chance. Take your time before you answer: Is something bratty like revenge the only thing behind your desire to kill?”
Hisoka stayed silent.
A small sigh escaped Kurikara’s lips. “Imagine that your enemy died. What happens afterwards? What are your feelings about it?”
Something like that already happened, a thought crossed his mind. On Queen Camelia...
What were his feelings as he stared at Muraki’s dead body?
Relief?.... No. It certainly wasn’t relief. Hell, it wasn’t even a positive feeling.
He had a distinct sense of surreality... Like it was just a bizarre dream...
Disbelief that it could all end just... like this.
Some kind of bitterness that the doctor died so peacefully, in his dream, poisoned... And not even by his hands...
Slight disappointment, perhaps? That someone who can die such easily, someone who turned out to be just like any other human, brought him so much suffering and such pain, even after death...
For an empath, who can so easily read emotions of other people, you surely seem to have a problem with yours. A small, sarcastic side of his nature chided somewhere at the back of his mind. Hisoka pushed it away.
What happened, afterwards?
Tsubaki-hime fainted and he stayed to keep an eye on her. The room was silent and her sleep had been peaceful... and he took advantage of it and tried to get identify his mixed feelings and find which one was the strongest...
Then, Tsubaki grabbed his hand and he saw her memories, felt her emotions towards Muraki... And with his own, mixed emotions, it proved to be too strong to handle at the moment and he fainted.
Tsuzuki had found him and got him into his bed. His nightmare came back with full force and he awoke with a scream as his body started to burn him with the markings appearing on his arms and chest-
The curse.
And from that moment he knew that it was too good to be true and didn’t matter if Muraki’s body was dead, because inside of him he still remained alive.
He wanted Muraki dead. He wanted him dead so he could no longer hurt others, like he had hurt and broke Hisoka. So he couldn't drive Tsuzuki to suicide and so that he could take comfort after every nightmare, when he woke up drenched in cold sweat, yet burning, with his breath rapid, mind spinning and heart threatening to beat out a way through his ribs.
Or maybe, if he really died, if Hisoka could see Muraki’s blood on his hands, he would be free, unchained, he would finally get something he dreamed of every night, something that seemed to easy to get yet in Hisoka’s case, almost impossible...
He wanted to kill Muraki, because he wanted-
“Freedom.” The word was barely a whisper, yet Kurikara heard it clearly and strongly.
“I want power because I want to free myself.” Hisoka’s voice was rising with every word, as the youth looked the dragon straight in the eyes. “Either in my nightmares or reality, he has control over me. I can’t stop him, because I’m too weak. I need power so that... even if it’s only in my nightmares, I can defeat him. And if I do that, then defeating- and killing- him in reality won’t be as hard.”
Kurikara let the silence linger for few minutes between them. “Why me? Surely there are other powerful Shikigami... perhaps even more powerful than me. And certainly easier to obtain. Why me?”
“I’ve asked myself this question many times. I promised myself numerous times I would give up on you and continue searching elsewhere. Yet, I found myself coming back here.”
“Have you found an answer why me?”
Hisoka’s lips stretched in a small, somehow wistful smile. “Because we’re so alike.”
Kurikara’s eyebrows rose in surprise as his eyes widened. “How are we alike, Shinigami?”
‘We’re both kids’, crossed his mind immediately, but he decided not to voice that thought. “We both don’t like humans.”
The dragon snorted. “Hypocrite. You are a human, your friends are human, your family was human. You have human blood and flesh.”
Hisoka shrugged. “Perhaps to you, I may seem human. I have never been treated as such when I was still alive, on Earth. I have never been accepted...neither by my family nor other people. I was different from them and they hated and feared me. I was a freak, a monster, a demon-possessed child... and right now, I’m a Shinigami.”
You are human. I guarantee it.
A smile crept on his face yet again as he continued. “Tsuzuki asked me once if he was human and I swore that yes, he was. However, I knew, I could feel it, that what he meant to ask me... if he had the right to feel, to live, just like humans do. Do you know, what on Earth makes humans different from animals?”
Kurikara shook his head slightly.
“Emotions. Animals do everything according to their instinct- Humans can identify emotions behind their actions. Humans can feel differently. Love, friendship, understanding, desperation, jealousy, hatred... Animals don’t feel such things. This is why my empathy can’t pick up any emotions from animals.
“As for demons, they can only hate, deceive... Eventually join forces in order to bring chaos and pain. They feel no love. No friendship. Tsuzuki was asking me if he had the right to love... If so many believed he was a demon. When we look a it from such angle, then yes. Tsuzuki is human. I am human. But...” A lopsided grin. “That’s not the aspect you meant, when you said you don’t like humans, did you?”
Kurikara’s silence was the only answer. “In what other ways we are alike?”
The grin grew. “We both think Tsuzuki is an idiot.”
The Shikigami chuckled. “And just what being alike has to do with getting s Shikigami, anyway? Do you even have any idea how you obtain a Shikigami?”
“Tsuzuki told me you need to befriend them. From the beginning I was skeptic about that idea... And then, when I asked myself ‘Why you?’ I think I started to understand why you and what does it really mean, getting a Shikigami. It has nothing to do with friendship. It’s all about acceptance.”
“Oh?”
“When I was pondering just what us being alike has to do with anything, I thought that maybe it’s because you represent a part of me I have yet to accept. Maybe Shinigamis that are able to obtain a Shiki, chose the ones that represent a part of their soul, their mind that they cannot fully accept.”
“You truly believe that, Shinigami?”
Nod.
A smile played on Kurikara’s face. “Then, which part of you Riko represented?”
“Riko was my friend.” Came a quiet reply. “However... I have never considered him as my fighting Shikigami.”
“How about your partner? What does him, having twelve Shikis, mean, according to your theory?”
Clear, green eyes stared straight into the Shikigamis. “That Tsuzuki has many masks.”
Kurikara fell silent for a moment, eyeing the boy before him. “That’s what you truly believe, Shinigami?”
“Yes.” No hesitation. No uncertainty. His voice didn’t waver even for a slightest bit.
“Very well.”
Kurikara stood up and monitioned the boy to do the same. He came up to him few steps closer, so close that their feet were almost touching.
“Shinigami Kurosaki Hisoka. I, Kurikara no Ryou, swear on my life that I will obey your orders, be your guardian and protector, in life and death, love and despair and accept you fully as my summoner and master.” The statement ended, when Kurikara took a hold of Hisoka’s wrist and squeezed slightly, leaving a small, almost invisible mark behind.
“This is my mark, Hisoka. The link that connects our souls.”
The boy stared numbly at it, trying to grasp everything that just took place in those short moments.
“You may go back to your realm, Shinigami, if you’re done here. Your partner, or miko-dono will teach you the summoning spell. Just show them my mark.”
“Wait. Wait a second here. You’ve became my Shikigami?”
The dragon nodded, clear amusement glittering in his eyes.
“How?” No. Wait. That’s not what he wanted to know.
“Why? What about that test I’m supposed to pass?” Better.
“You passed it.”
“What the hell?!”
Hisoka did a remarkable impression of a fish, with his big eyes, blinking rapidly and mouth opening and closing while he tried to get some logical statement out of his throat.
“They say actions speak louder than words, however souls speak even louder than actions. I was looking into your soul, from the moment you came here... And I saw your true feeling and your true intentions. I also saw that you acknowledged them and were not afraid to stand up for what you thought was right.”
He gave the boy a lopsided grin. “We really are alike, aren’t we?”
“Besides, you’re too weak to even try and complete any tasks I might think of.”
Hisoka twitched.
“Now, it’s not that bad. I’m supposed to be your strength, remember?”
Hisoka resisted the temptation to sulk.
“See you in the real world, Shinigami. Do not hesitate to summon me, whenever you need.”
Whether it’s in a battle or in your nightmares, call for me and I will come... Because, from now on, we’re in this together.

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Huhuhuhu.... That's it, I supposed. Not really full of action, right? To those who read my post up to this point, congrants.
Ah, who feels like telling me what do you think about it? ;3
for the record, I have only read the first chapter of volume 10. My knowledge as to the recent chapters is rather...lacking. So, there may be many mistakes, when it cames to the actual plot.

Btw, don't you totally agree Hisoka should get Kurikara as his shikigami? 8D

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