Shadows

Yami no Kaze · Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 5:33 am Post subject: Shadows

a/n: okay this is somewhat of a song fic. and there will be an amv coming soon. The song i've been listening to is Emilie Autumn's "Across the Sky"
I'm told that the beginnging *which i used for my fic" is a shakspear quartet or something. see below for lyrics.

~~
Shadows
~~

"What is your substance
Whereof are you made
That millions of strange shadows on you tend
Since every one, hath every one, one shade
And you, but one, can every shadow lend"

These words echoed endlessly in Tatsumi's mind as he sat in his dark office late one night. He was thinking of someone he'd not seen in almost seventy years.

Such a long time had begun to wear on the secretary. His age had set in his eyes and it was very clear that he was tired. A never ending tiredness that refused to go away, no matter how many hours he slept.

It shouldn't have been an important day to anyone. It wasn't a holiday and there wasn't a festival. It was no ones birthday...but for some reason he had it marked in red on his calander.

For years no one had noticed it, or if they had, they hadn't dared to ask what it stood for. The hurt in the mans tired blue eyes was never missed and those who wanted to question him knew better than to rebreak the already cracked heart of the secretary.

Tatsumi was very solomn on this day and late into the night he would sit alone in heavy thought. These words replaying themselves over and over until he fell asleep and then...he would dream of her.

There was never any indication to anyone that Tatsumi might have once been in love with a woman. The only options in the office were not compatable with the man. Saya and Yuma were together, and Wakaba was forever pining over Terazuma.

If one could see inside his dreams, they would understand the source of his grief. It began, now more than a hundred years ago...

~~

Martch 3rd 1901

"So this is my new partner?"

Konoe nodded to the woman sitting across from the two.

"I'm Tatsumi Seiichiro."

He extnded a hand but she refused it and rolled her eyes. "Why do you always throw the new ones with me?"

Tatsumi was hurt by this and drew back, saying nothing.

Konoe gave him a look that told him to leave the room.

He never did find out what was said in that room, but the woman had a completely different attitude when she came back out.

"They call me Yami Kuro." She extended a hand to him.

In fear of being impolite, he shook her hand and bowed slightly.

"Would you prefer Yami or Kuro?"

She laughed at this, a laugh that sent chills down his spine.

"Yami."

He wondered what she meant by naming herself Darkness. Black Darkness to be exact.

It seemed odd to him because quite the opposite of her name, she was a very bright woman. She dressed in red and hand long blond ringlets that fell down her back. She had large green eyes that stared into his soul and snatched away his voice.

~~
One year later

Something was wrong with Yami that morning when she came in. Tatsumi had good news for her, he was finally ready to pick out a shikigami. But she frowned and shook her head when he told her.

"Tatsumi-san..." She whispered.

He frowned as well. "Tell me what's wrong?"

She sat down in her chair and began to sob. "I'm going away."

Tatsumi stared at her as he went to her side. This couldn't be. He didn't have the chance to tell her something important.

"For how long?"

His words were robotic, pouring from his lips on their own while in his mind he was screaming that he loved her. His own mouth wouldn't allow him to confess.

"Forever Tatsumi-san. my time as a shinigami has ended and I will be moving on to a better place."

He smiled, though worriedly. "But you won't be going to hell? so i'll see you again?"

She nodded. "We'll see each other again. some day. When you're old and as tired as i am."

She lifted her hand to his face.

"But i need to give you a gift first."

He couldn't rid himself of the tears welling in his eyes now.

"A gift for me? i should be giving you a gift."

She shook her head. "It's not a gift in that sense...it's not physical."

He stared at her, very confused. "What kind of gift?"

She closed her eyes. "The reason i'm called Yami Kuro, is because of the gift I was given many years ago. I am only half human you see. And where i go now, is neither heaven, nore hell...but a special place for people like me...for the shadow masters."

His eyes widened. "Shadow masters?!"

She nodded and from up around her all the shadows in the room lifted from their proper places on the floor.

Tatsumi jolted back, terrified. He'd never seen her fight before, never been sent on a case with her because he didn't have a shikigami yet.

"Tatsumi-san...will you accept this gift? I don't want it to die away, for i am the last. Please take the gift."

Tatsumi stared at her for a long moment before taking a deep breath. "What do i need to do?"

The shadows began to close around him and she stood, walking up to him and wrapping her arms around his neck. "Don't be afraid." With that she kissed him deeply. His eyes widened for a moment before sliding closed and he wraped his arms around her waist.

When she broke away from the kiss she was smiling brightly and stepped back. "Thank you. I can go in peace now."

He blinked his eyes open and stared at her. "Is that it?"

She nodded. "They're you're now. Try them out. They respond to your body and your mind. Their in fact now an extenstion of your body and there's nothing you can't do with them."

He thought for a moment and extended his arm. The shadows under him rippled and jutted up in spike from the floor. He was startled by this and allowed them to sink back into the floor. "You look like a great weight has been lifted from you. was this ability tireing for you?"

She nodded. "not at first. but after so many years i'm just very tired. they command a lot of energy and control that only you so far have shown to possess. I couldn't move on before because I had no one to give them to. But you seem like you'll be able to handle them a bit better."

He stepped forward, the shadows around him once again lifting from the floor to swirl around the two of them as he pulled her closer. "When do you leave?"

She looked away. "One week. I've been here for almost two hundred years. I'll need to train you in that week."

Tatsumi looked into her eyes, saddness in his own. "You know how i feel don't you?"

She smiled a bit and nodded. "I'm sorry Tatsumi. I've known for some time. but i also knew that i had to leave too soon for us to start anything. But I..." She didn't want to say it, knowing it was pointless now.

"Will i really see you again?"

She nodded. "When you're ready to move on yourself. in many years from now. You'll understand my tiredness and then you'll choose someone to replace you. The way i've chosen you."

He sighed deeply as he stared into her eyes. "Make me happy...just for this week."

She was silent for a long moment as she gave this thought. "Will you be able to let me go?"

He nodded. "As long as it's what you really want. Do you know what's there? where you're going?"

She smiled brightly as she nodded. "It's not quite paradise but i'm not going to be alone. There are thousands...from the beginning of time we have existed. I'll have pleanty of friends and lots of rest. You'll see. And i'll make a house for us. No one but you and i will ever live in it."

He smiled warmly at this and kissed her softly. "Than i'll let you go and i'll look forward to the end of my time here."

"Tatsumi...I love you."

~~

Over thirty years had passed from the day that he'd let her go and an ache had formed in his heart where she was missing.

He had partner after partner and he now understood her animosity towards the new ones. Most of them moved on too quickly to form relationships or even friendships with for that matter.

But just after he met Tsuzuki, something happened in the world that she'd entered so happily.

He was sent alone, no mere mortal spirit allowed to enter it's realm. He didn't understand why she was so happy to be here. Everything was dark and frightening to him.

Someone had escaped into the mortal world and it was his job to retrieve this person. As his reward for returning the lost shadow master, he would be allowed to see his beloved once again.

They spent one night together and his heart was complete again for a short time. But leaving made him only want his time to end sooner.

He became a cold man, finally choosing to become a secretary, denying the ministry all attempts at partnering him up.

When he met Hisoka his heart melted just a little. He found himself wanting to spend more and more time with the empath but he had no idea why.

~~

"Tatsumi-san?" A gentle voice called to him through his sleep and he began to wake.

"Yami?"

His eyes slid open and for a moment he saw her there.

"Tatsumi-san? are you okay?"

He sat up, smileing a bit, something Hisoka had never seen before.

"Yami...you..." But then his eyes finally cleard as he woke more and a sudden realization hit him. He looked just like her. That's why he'd fallen in love with the boy. "Hisoka? I'm so sorry. is it time for work? I fell asleep at my desk."

Hisoka frowned as he rested a hand on Tatsumi's shoulder. "Not quite. I got worried when I called this morning and got no answer. It's almost five."

He sat up fully now, worried himself. "Why did you need me so late?"

Hisoka looked away. "It's something I found out on the last case. I wanted to talk to you about it before work and I remembered you telling me you got up at four to practice your sword skills."

Tatsumi was hit suddenly like a ton of bricks. "You want to know about her don't you?"

He nodded. "From what i learned...while taking my father to hell..."

Tatsumi grimaced. "They shouldn't have sent you on that case."

Hisoka looked away. "I'm glad they did. there were a lot of questions that were answered. and there were some more questions that cropped up. Questions you can answer."

Tatsumi sighed deeply. "I assume you now know that she was you're great grandmothers aunt?"

He nodded. "And that she became a shinigami for very similar reasons to my own."

Tatsumi narrowed his eyes in anger at the thought. "She never told me why. Though i suppose it was fair. i never told her my reasons."

Hisoka closed his eyes. "Suffice to say that Muraki is a blood relative."

Tatsumi's eyes widened. "You're not serious?!"

He nodded. "It appears our families have tangled several times in the last four hundred years. That time unfortunately created the line that we know best. But was she...?"

Tatsumi shook his head. "As far as I can tell you're the only one. But i didn't know her before she had the shadows so perhaps..."

Hisoka looked up at him. "Wait...she was a shadow master?"

Tatsumi nodded. "She's the one I recieved my shadows from Hisoka. I'm the last. and when i find someone suitible to pass them on to i'll be leaving."

Hisoka stared for a moment. "I see. And you haven't found anyone?"

Tatsumi bit his lip. "I...he's not quite ready for such a responsibility."

Hisoka didn't need to be empathic to know who he was talking about. "you intend to save him then?"

Tatsumi nodded. "Maybe a few more years...unless..."

He looked at Hisoka in a new light. "You're ready you know. you can pass them to him when he's ready and i can go home."

Hisoka gave this quite a bit of thought. "How do you give it to me? will it be painful?"

He shook his head. "perhaps a bit awkward but not painful now. it's done in seconds...but you must know that you're barred from both heaven and hell should you accept. The shadows are a different kind of parasite and they demand a lot of energy. you won't feel it for many decades. The stronger you are the longer you can handle them. It took me seventy years to begin to feel tired."

Hisoka looked up again. "You know how i feel about Tsuzuki?"

Tatsumi nodded. "If you don't take them, you'll never be with him."

Hisoka frowned. "i don't think i have a chance as it is...he finally told me why he's going where he's going and i'm having a hard time dealing with it."

Tatsumi took a deep breath. "Be stronger than i was Hisoka. it's really not that bad compaired to other things. to things i've done."

Hisoka stepped back. "Tatsumi-san..."

Tatsumi nodded. "I'm a dangerous man Hisoka. i'm calm as a stagnent pond on the outside, but the darkness in my soul has eaten away at almost all of the light left. it began with my father and it will end tonight with you. Will you accept them?"

Hisoka was scared now. He'd never guessed Tatsumi to have the darkness Tsuzuki had. But to some point he was a selfish as he was stubborn. "I..."

Tatsumi stood, wrapping his arms around the blond gently as he stared into those familiar yet strange emerald eyes that he loved too much for his own good. "I won't hurt you Hisoka. I...I'm in love with you."

Hisoka's eyes widened as he heard these words, his body trembling suddenly under the soft touch. "I..."

Tatsumi's sapphire eyes were a light with a passion Hisoka had never seen before. "Say yes. please let me go to her now."

Hisoka closed his eyes. "I accept."

Tatsumi felt the weight lift from him and understood the way she'd felt so long ago. Without a second thought the shadow burst up from around them, caccooning them in a lotus of shadows.

Hisoka felt dizzy as the emotions around them poured into him and suddenly Tatsumi's lips were pressed roughly to his.

The shadows began to spin wildly around them and in a burst of dark energy, the fell limply to the floor as Hisoka's body fell limply into the secretary's arms.

With a happyness he'd never before felt, he carried Hisoka out and into the waiting arms of a very concerned Tsuzuki. "Take care of him. He's become the shadow master."

He went back into his office and cried in joy. Soon he would be with his beloved again. forever.

~~

After nearly a month of training Hisoka, Tatsumi was finally able to move in. The memory of the place he'd been to frightened him but he could live in it as long as he was with her.

The door opened and he stepped into the darkness, but once the door had closed behind him, there was a thick fog that began to wash away the darkness. Soon he found himself surrounded by people and he recognized the shadowy form that reached out and too his hand.

"Come with me Tatsumi! I can't wait to show you our house!"

He followed and as the fog cleared he saw her, shining smile and brilliant eyes displaying happieness. They were running now through the field of black flowers he'd seen. but now they were colorfull. everything was serreal. Colors he'd never seen before filled the strange place.

"Where are we?"

Ahead there was a small western style victorian house. "Home Tatsumi. we're home!"

up the stairs and like a wherlwind she pointed out everything that she'd made. Finally when she stopped she pushed him onto a soft bed and fell on top of him, kissing him deeply. "You're mine forever now!"

He stopped her, pushing her up gently as he stared in confusion. "But it was dark here. and there was no color...nothing. i couldn't understand why you were so happy."

She gently brushed his hair away from his face. "You came with the darkness of the shadows. When you left it behind, you were light enough to come through the mist. it took away your stains and cleared your eyes of the hurt and evil you'd been through. you couldn't have seen it this way before because you were still weighed down with the regrets of your past. that's why you have to wait to live here until you rid yourself of the shadows."

He nodded, finally understanding. "I'm home now...with you." He smiled brightly, a smile he hadn't used since he was a child. the day he'd killed his mother. And with a lifted heart he kissed her. he was finally whole again, his heart content.

~~

"It was almost three hundred years ago..."

Hisoka whispered as he read through a book.

"This reminds me of Tatsumi-san."

Tsuzuki lay beside him lazily, the shadows holding them both tightly in their bed. "He read that once. And it reminded him of Yami. I can't believe I'm leaving tomorrow."

Hisoka smiled sadly. "I can. you'll wait for me right?"

Tsuzuki nodded. "of course. i do wonder though, if anyone has had the shadows twice."

Hisoka shrugged. "i can handle it." With a simple kiss, the shadows returned to him.

In the following months he became like Tatsumi, cold, and tired. He refused the ministry any attempts to pair him with anyone.

All of his friends moved on. only Konoe posted forever as the chief.

No one knew why this day was marked in red on the calander. It wasn't a holiday, and there was no festival. It was no ones birthday.

No one dared to ask about the sadness in the forever sixteen shinigami's eyes. All he could do now was hope that someoe would come along to be worthy of the gift.

as he drifted to sleep at his desk that night, memories of Tsuzuki weighing down his heart, he whispered the words that forever reminded him of the day he'd given up his lover.

"What is your substance
Whereof are you made
That millions of strange shadows on you tend
Since every one, hath every one, one shade
And you, but one, can every shadow lend"

~~fin~~

haha i told you i'd finish it!

lyrics:

What is your substance
Whereof are you made
That millions of strange shadows on you tend
Since every one, hath every one, one shade
And you, but one, can every shadow lend

See beyond the moment
Think beyond the day
Hear the word
My voice will not be cast away
Fatalistic fortune
Ever near the end
Love goes on
But Time does not return again

Across the sky
I will come for you
If you ask me to
Demystify
Your uncommon dreams
Stranger things have come true

Fear no more the midnight
Fear no more the sea
Close your eyes, regret nothing
You're safe with me
Look into the shadows
Step into the mist
Search your land but doubt never
I still exist

Ask yourself: is this all there is
Take no answer but the one you find
I have put my faith in aberrations of your kind
But even if you're in my mind

Should we hear the silence
Should we hear the noise
I don't need this blind acceptance
I have made my choice
Light lives in the darkness
Beauty lives in pain
In destruction we may lose ourselves
But still I will remain
Across the sky
Across the sky

See beyond the moment
Think beyond the day
Hear the word
Hear the word
_________________

laustic · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 660 Location: Florida

Ahh, very interesting, particularly since Yami description fits Hisoka. I wonder if its coincidence or is Hisoka her reincarnation.

Yami no Kaze · Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 7:36 am Post subject:

XD you'll finmd out later. i swear i will finish this one!
_________________

laustic · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 660 Location: Florida

Yay

I'm looking foward to it.

Yami no Kaze · Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 7:38 pm Post subject:

=D i finished!!!!
_________________

laustic · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 660 Location: Florida

Oh wow, that was really sad, good, but so sad!