In My Arms (TatsumixTsuzuki)

sapphiredragon · In My Arms (TatsumixTsuzuki)

Ta-da.

Kind of depressing, hopefully true to these two's characters.

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I had no idea what I was in for when I became Tsuzuki’s partner. At first, he had seemed like nothing more than an annoying, idiotic goofball, but after our first few missions together, I began to notice something. After missions, I would not see him for days, and then, as if it were normal for him to, he would come over to my place, all bright and cheerful. As odd as it seemed to me, not really wanting to bother with him, I convinced myself that as long as he was always back in time for the next mission, it was fine and there was nothing for me to worry about.
But, after one mission, two weeks passed by, and he still did not come to see me. Although I was concerned about him, I figured that I would just have to wait a little while longer. I waited two more days for him before I was given information about a new mission. This time, I finally realized that I had to do something about it
I went to his apartment. I had no idea whether or not he would actually be there. Actually, I had figured that he would not be in such an obvious place, with my complete and—I hate to admit this—intentional ignorance of the situation, but I knocked on his door anyway. He answered.
“Oh, Tatsumi! What are you doing here?” He looked so surprised that first time. I had never gone to his apartment before, so of course he would be surprised, but, as many times as I went to him after that first time, with him just expecting me to come, that look of surprise on his face that first time seems odd to me while thinking back on all of it now.
“I haven’t seen you for over two weeks, since that last mission. I was worried about you. And… we have another mission to do now, so I came looking for you.” I could see that he had been crying. At that moment, I felt so ashamed of myself. That which I had previously ignored now seemed so obvious. How could I have ignored it all before? I realized then that every time he had come to me before after disappearing, all of his cheerfulness and goofiness had just been an act to hide how sad he really was.
“I…I’m fine, Tatsumi, really. I…I’m sorry to have worried you…needlessly, like that. There’s nothing to worry about. I’m fine, really. I’m fine. It’s okay.” He was standing in the doorway of his apartment, saying all of this. Probably only half of what he was saying was actually directed to me. It seemed like he was trying to reassure himself more than me.
“But anyway, we have a mission to do, don’t we? Please, come inside. You can tell me about the mission.” We went into his apartment and sat down.
After thinking carefully about how to approach the subject, “Tsuzuki, I really should apologize.”
“What? Why?”
“I should have talked to you about this before, but…”
“What, Tatsumi?”
“The way—the way you just…disappear after missions and then reappear a few days or so later acting…acting…overly cheerful has really begun to concern me as of late. I’m your partner, so of course I should be concerned about your well-being. If there’s anything you want to talk about—“
“Tatsumi, it’s okay, there’s nothing for you to worry about. I’m fine.” He was looking straight into my eyes, smiling. Did he think I was a fool? Did he really think he could fool anyone like that?
“You say something like that!?” I was nearly yelling at him. “You try to say that after I haven’t seen you for over two weeks, and finally I come here and see that you’ve been crying—it’s obvious, such a fake smile wouldn’t fool anyone—and you try to say that!?”
He was looking at me, shocked. Then he turned his face down and away, sad, looking like he was about to cry. All of a sudden, he clung to me.
Now I was the shocked one. I had no idea what to do, but I wanted to be able to comfort him somehow, feeling and hearing him crying. I slowly wrapped my arms around him, and in my arms, although slowly, he calmed down. He pulled away from me, looked up at me, and smiled. It seemed to me like the first time he had ever really smiled, like the first time I had ever seen him truly happy.
I told him about our next mission. I felt so happy after seeing him smile that it seemed like everything was okay. His goofy side didn’t annoy me anymore, in fact, that quality of his started to make me smile.
After that mission, I went to his apartment, wanting to see his smile again. This second time was the last time he was shocked to see me at the door to his apartment. I held him again, and he smiled again, and I held him again, and he smiled again many times after that. It felt like his smile even made my problems alright. Sometimes, I would hold him in my arms until he would fall asleep, so I would take him to his bed and wait by his bed until morning, when he would wake up and smile at me.
Everything felt so perfect, until that one mission. I went to him again after that mission, but as soon as I saw him, I could tell that something was different.
He told me everything.
All of the things he had done, the way he acted—everything about him made sense to me, and I felt terrible. I’m not even sure why it made me feel so bad. Again, he clung to me, as if it was just like all the other times, and again, I held him, knowing that it wouldn’t be enough.
I slept with him that night. After it was over, he looked up at me and smiled, again just like all of the other times, but this time, to me, his smile seemed somehow broken.
The next day I requested to be reassigned, and by the time our next mission came along, I was no longer Tsuzuki’s partner. I thought that I would never hold him in my arms again, and yet…

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Comments and advice greatly welcomed.

Thank you.

Rhea-sama

I liked it, it was well written, but.. something seemed... subtley 'off' to me, and I'm not sure what it was. I'll have to think about it some more and see if I can't articulate it better. Not enough to say that they were OOC though.

But it is a well thought out piece. It flows very nicely.

(Hmm, maybe it's that they were more like their anime personalities than the manga personas? I dunno..)

sapphiredragon

Hmm, it'd be a bit weird for them to be more like in the anime considering that I've never actually watched it before, I've only read the manga. (Speaking of which, I really ought to watch the anime sometime...)

Rhea-sama

Huh I dunno then XD

I guess maybe I didn't see the sort of the different layers that I usually like to see in characterization maybe.. I don't know. They were in character, but I kinda wanted to see... I dunno.. more perhaps. Get a fuller picture maybe of what they were thinking/feeling and why.

There ha! I finally got it.

I mean, it's not bad, I just feel that.. some parts were 'simplified' I guess.

But I'm sort of nitpicky so, maybe you shouldn't listen to me XDD