S.T. (WorkInProgress)--Because my word processor hates me D:
Okay, I feel bad about doing this, but my word processor hates me and in order for ANY work on this thing to get done, I need to do something and G-mail's tiny ass window just isn't cutting it for me. The silver/gray text represents that this is all subject to change right now and it is unfinished XDD (Though I .. guess.. you're free to read/beta it and give me feeedback right now xD AND PLEASE POINT OUT ANY ERRORS YOU CATCH BECAUSE I HATE THEM WITH A PASSION!! I will smite you typos. Smite you XD)
Although
"Shadow Tease"
Gah, longish authors notes sorry, but it helps to read them.
I love the concept of Tatsumi's shadow pulling a Peter Pan and being disobedient x3 The idea never fails to make me giggle. I may just write more about it some day, but for now this is present day Ministry of Hades. WatarixTatsumi, because they're oh so wonderful together. I do stoop to using one Japanese/Osakan word in here, which all Azumanga Daioh fans should know, and that is 'nande ya nen.' At least I think that's how it's spelled. In any case it's a stereotypical Osakan thing to say XD It means something like 'fuhggeddaboutit!/why in the heck?/Get outta here!' Which is how I used it here.. And the "Mongolian blue spot" is considered something childish. It's a dark mark, on the neck(if I recall correctly) that some Asians get and it usually goes away by early adolecence. It's considered the equivalent of 'bedwetting.' ---
"Tatsumi...?" The secretary looked up from his desk. Yutaka Watari was standing there, looking down over the desk at something. Tatsumi followed the blonde man's gaze to the floor for a moment,
"Yes?" His sapphire eyes flicked back up, not comprehending what the matter was.
"Um, Where's you're shadow Seiichiro?" The use of his given name threw him momentarily, but he was more off-put by the insinuation that his shadow was absent. His brows knit together slightly in confusion,
"What are you talking about Watari? My shadow's right there..." But as Tatsumi looked at the floor again, his shadow was indeed missing. The 'Shadowmancer' stared. Alarmed, the secretary stood up and lifted his chair, as though hoping he might find said shadow hiding underneath it. Stifling a grin as the secretary peered under his desk on hands and knees, Watari cleared his throat,
"I'm amazed. I never realized it was possible for a Shadow Shifter to er, lose his shadow." Tatsumi muttered something inaudible, getting to his feet and searching behind some of the file cabinets. The scientist put a hand up to one ear as if to facilitate imagined deafness, "Sorry Tatsumi, I didn't quite catch that." The dark haired man went to another corner of the room and glanced at the door to make sure it was shut before he spoke,
"It's..." He paused, wondering exactly how to phrase this somewhat, er, delicate matter. Tapping a finger Tatsumi started again, "It generally only happens in childhood or late adolescence, when the power first appears. When it first manifests itself, only the Shifter's shadow is...'aware' at first. It takes on a life of its own. Once a Shifter comes fully into his powers or learns to control them it will go away. However sometimes.. On occasion...under great..." Tatsumi paused again in order to silently deny anything he was about to say pertained to him, "Stress or.. Extenuating circumstances it will reassert itself." There was a somewhat awkward pause while Watari digested all this information. Looking away from the gold-eyed Shinigami in his office, Tatsumi muttered the next phrase even quieter, regretting the words even as they came out of his mouth, "It is the Shadow Shifter's equivalent to a Mongolian Blue Spot." The secretary shut his eyes and was not disappointed when he heard the predicted, crazed-scientist laughter from his friend.
"Wahahahahaha! Oh man Tatsumi! You better find your shadow quick! Otherwise I don't think you're ever gonna live this down!" The chemist giggled wickedly, laughter bubbling up from him like one of his many volatile reactions. The secretary pushed up his glasses and reverted to one of his oldest threats in order to save his dignity,
"Budget cuts, Watari." The gregarious man waved a pale hand as the last of his laughter died away. Strange, even though he was the one being laughed at more often than not, Tatsumi enjoyed the way it permeated the small room. Watari's laughter was like an unseen liquid gold that cast everything into a bright light; it made the work hours seem less dreary.
"Don't worry Tatsumi, your secret is safe with me." Tatsumi pressed his fingers against his temples,
"I don't sense it in the office, I think it may have slipped out somehow. There's no telling what mischief it might cause." Tatsumi saw a pale brow arch in disbelief,
"The great, stable, restrained, sane, sensible, serious Tatsumi-san's shadow causing mischief? Perhaps even costly property damage?" The secretary stared at him with a look or horror rampant across his features. Watari hid a grin. Apparently that appalling thought had not occurred to the man until just now. Grabbing him by the arm Tatsumi dragged Watari out of the office shouting something about saving his dignity and his paycheck. Watari noticed, but didn't point out, that his arm was still in Tatsumi's grip halfway down the hallway.
---
An hour and a half later the two men were in Watari's lab; Tatsumi slumped dejectedly in one of the few chairs not covered in papers, beakers, boxes, and other miscellaneous junk. The long-legged master of the lab leaned against one of the counter tops, arms crossed, deep in thought.
They had not yet found Tatsumi's shadow, but there were signs of it all over the building to varying degrees. From small things such as stolen paper clips, rearranged desks, and hidden forms to larger, more disturbing things such as poor Kannuki hanging from a light fixture. Plus that unholy stench from the break room, so bad that neither Shinigami dared enter to see the source. (Though that may have simply been someone's leftovers in the fridge gone bad, not necessarily the work of Tatsumi's errant shadow.)
"So tell me again why you can't just do your shadow summoning thingy and call your shadow back? Or better yet, why not just make a new one?" Tatsumi sighed, sitting up in his chair, pushing back his glasses as he patiently explained (or tried to) for the third time why it wasn't as simple as that.
"Because until I am reunited with my true shadow I have no dominion over them, and why should I? If I can't control my own shadow why should I presume to have the right to control other shadows?" Watari tilted his head,
"So what's so special about your shadow then? I never really thought about it before. How are you--and your powers--connected to it so..?" Tatsumi sighed. He took off his glasses and rubbed his forehead. Trust Watari to think of the hard questions first.
"It's a very complicated bond. I don't think my master completely understood it either. Since the power is inborn, and is of the shadows--no, I'll start again. The power of a Shadow Shifter is divided and united at the same time." Watari blinked and tried to follow Tatsumi's awkward style of storytelling, "The power of the shadows is within me, but in actuality the only manipulation I am able to do on my own is that of my own shadow. My teacher described the other part of the power as being a sort of 'kernel' located within your shadow--my shadow that is. It is only through the power of my shadow I am able to extend my will and manipulations to other shades.... I'm not sure if I understand it either..." Watari combed his fingers through his hair, something he liked to do while processing complex ideas, as if the physical act of detangling his hair would do the same for his thoughts.
"So you have the power, but the true 'key' to unlock it is in your shadow, so to speak...? Nande ya nen!" Tatsumi nodded, grateful and amazed that the other man could put so confusing a concept into such simple words. The scientist suddenly changed tack, "So do you have any idea why your shadow has run off and decided to pull a Peter Pan on you?" Tatsumi stared blankly.
"Excuse me?" Watari poked his companion on the shoulder lightly,
"You know! Peter Pan and Never-Neverland! 'Peter Pan no Boken.' Kid who never grew up, could fly, fought Captain Hook, had a shadow that was probably more disobedient than yours is right now?" A vague memory stirred within the Secretary's mind, then slipped away again.
"Huh." Watari threw up his hands in despair,
"You are hopeless. How can you not know who Peter Pan is? But back to my question. What, precisely, is bothering you, my dear secretary?" Watari admonished him even before he could move to cross his arms, "Ah, ah, ah!" He waved a finger at Tatsumi, who blinked. "None of your evasive maneuvers Tatsumi-san. I will wrest the truth from your lips, even if I have to sit here all night or, more likely, make a truth serum and wring it out of you that way. Don't doubt that I can't do it either!" Blue eyes quelled him momentarily. It was as if someone had turned the air conditioning on and had forgotten that absolute zero was much too cold to be considered refreshing. Petting 003 who had flitted to his shoulder, Watari wondered to himself just how exactly Tatsumi had learned to carry off that cold patrician stare. Sure his mom had been royalty, but she'd married beneath her class, yet still she'd managed to pass off elitist airs to him that Kurosaki couldn't even pull off. Watari stopped petting '03 for a moment, suddenly realizing why he, and everyone else, found Bon's stare to be so terrifying, so cold. It was because it was the same aloof, critical, aristocratic glare that a certain Secretary wore.
For some reason the chemist found this extremely funny and he began to laugh, throwing Tatsumi into confusion. Good, if I keep him off kilter enough he might actually-GASP-admit that something is bothering him. Oh horrors of horrors, he has to talk to someone about his problems for a change. Watari prodded his prey again, "You. Shadow. MIA. Why?" Tatsumi took in a deep breath and held if for ten seconds. Letting it out, he leaned against the back of the chair,
"You're really not going to let me go are you?" His friend pretended to consider the matter,
"Mmmmm.. Nope!" He grinned cheerfully across at Tatsumi, bending over to lean in the man's personal space. Not willing to back down from a challenge, the secretary sat up and also leaned closer, his voice deadly quiet.
"Really? Not even if I threaten to dock your pay?" Watari pressed in even closer, heedless of the tone in the budget master's voice, that free lock of hair threatening to brush against Tatsumi's cheek,
"Not even if you take away my job." Something had changed somewhere during their 'I-am-the-alpha-male-space-invading-showdown.' Their breaths were close enough to almost be intermingling, and for once the thought that this would appear rather licentious to a casual passer-by did not occur to Tatsumi. His eyes were fixed on the man before him, or rather his free-floating lock of hair. It was centimeters, millimeters away from touching his face. Watari's gaze was fixed on it too, as though it were some sort of barrier between them, a wall made of silk-spun gold. Both of them felt (and subsequently denied feeling) an electric thrill at the thought of what might just happen if they were to make contact, Watari's hair and Tatsumi's skin. The secretary tried to find his voice, but only a soft grunt came out. What the hell were we just talking about?
Watari drew back his head with a slight shake, his hair just barely caressing Tatsumi's cheek, but it was enough to elicit a tiny intake of breath from the secretary, so brief and soft it might have been imagined. Still, the scientist couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, there had been the tiniest catch in the older man's breath. Clearing his throat Tatsumi snapped back to his calm, unruffled demeanor. Watari half expected a lecture on professional behavior in the office, but then not saying anything about what just happened would fit in brilliantly with Tatsumi's longstanding habit of avoidance and non-confrontation.
"So," Watari prompted again. The aristocratic glare was back in place,
"So?" Watari smiled gently.
"Hey, I'm just trying to help you, okay? You said stress can cause this to happen, and gods know we've had plenty of that in the last few months. Besides that I don't think you've taken a day off for the last five years. Therefore, the logical conclusion is to release your bottled up feelings before you go and explode on us like a Molotov Cocktail." He twitched his lips in a momentary grin," Besides, if you do go 'That's-it-I'm-completely-batshit-crazy-end-my-career-as-a-Shinigami-in-a-gigantic-explosion-of-pain-guilt-blood-and-insanity' on us, just think of the bill for replacing the summons section. The King probably wouldn't allow you to ascend until you paid it all back." Tatsumi ground his teeth together, he hated budget jokes. Money was a serious matter, especially since his department had some of the most powerful and, regrettably, unrestrained denizens of the Ministry. They would be lucky if they managed to bring the balance back to Zero yen this year, they were so far in the red. The normally cultured voice was strained, the traces of a hundred thousand thoughts, fears, angers, and concerns bubbling under the slowly failing cover of civility.
"And what exactly, do you propose I say Watari?"
"Well, whatever you--" Tatsumi cut him off, silencing him for once,
"Am I supposed to say that I'm tired of re-economizing every time someone breaks so much as a table lamp? That Konoe and I have had to fight the council every week over Tsuzuki even after the King's decision? Should I say that I'm terrified of what's going to happen to all of us? That I can't stand the thought of Muraki out there just waiting for us, for Tsuzuki and Hisoka? That we're in the red again this month and will be until the end of the calender year? That I'm drowning in paperwork and no one seems to care!? That I want--? Say that I can't--? That I don't-- Am I supposed to just admit to everything and it will suddenly be all better? Life doesn't work like that Watari!" While he hadn't shouted at all, Tatsumi's volume certainly had grown by the end of his speech. Taking a few deliberately slow breaths, Tatsumi adjusted his glasses--looking away from Watari, as though ashamed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go on a tirade." Watari held out a hand in a forgiving manner,
"Hey, it's good to do that once in awhile. You feel any better?" Tatsumi wasn't sure. He didn't feel better, but he certainly felt less strained from saying most the things he'd been trying not to say.
".....Not really, no."
"So what would make you feel better?" A shrug,
"I don't know. Muraki's head on my mantle and a hundred billion yen?" Watari smirked wickedly,
"I think that would make just about anyone in our division happy. However, I think Hisoka officially has dibs when it comes to claiming the parts of, and dismembering our good friend Muraki-sensei." Tatsumi responded with his own dark smile,
"I could always change that if I had time to redraw my seniority privileges."
Watari's devious grin remained in place, "Pff. You'd still have to get in line. Besides, why your mantle? Shouldn't his head be on display somewhere in the office so that everyone can enjoy? But where? Hmm...good thing white goes with everything. But the dark brown of his dried blood is going to be hard to match. The mail room maybe? Ah well, we'll worry about it when that eventuality comes to pass." Watari drew in a deep breath and let it out. The two sat in silence for many long minutes. Tatsumi avoiding Watari's knowing gaze as his friend inspected him. "So, is there anything else bothering you? You still look, well....bothered." Tatsumi fidgited with his cufflinks, staring determinedly at the floor.
"I don't know what you mean Watari..." The scientist sighed regretfully,
"Fine. I shouldn't try to pry into what isn't my bussiness. You're entitled to keep some secrets I supopse. Sorry, I just... I wanted to...Well if you change your mind I'm always open. Unless I'm putting out the latest fire of course." Watari waved a hand and Tatsumi took that as a sign that he could go. He lingered in the chair for an entire minute before standing up and making his way towards the door.
As his palm came in contact with the door to push it open, a soft statement from Watari made him pause, "But you know Tatsumi...." The secretary swallowed, suddenly, inexplicably nervous at what he might hear, "...I care." Tatsumi turned back to face Watari. His expression seemed to mirror Tatsumi's feelings, earnest but tense--a little frightened at making such an open admission. Tatsumi let his features relax into a small, grateful smile,
"I know." I know you care Watari. The secretary left the laboratory and let out a sigh that did nothing to ease the tension in his chest as he walked back to his office. I do too. I care entirely too much. Tatsumi looked down at his hands wich were quivering for some reason. He glared at them. "Stop that," he instructed. This did not accomplish anything. He slipped back into his office. That had been.. Dangerous.
He'd almost admited his other fears. The real root of his problem, his chronic fear of change.
Tatsumi was terrified of how his relashionships with everyone would change after Kyoto. And he wasn't ready to discuss it with anyone else yet.
His relashionship with Tsuzuki had twisted and changed so many times already, he wasn't sure that it could handle one more.
He didn't want to face Hisoka, for the boy would surely, eventually, pick up on the fact that he hadn't originally meant to save Tsuzuki; an act which surely would have destroyed the division's youngest Shinigami.
And then there was Watari.
He'd been aware of the other man for quite some time. Ages really, if he thought about it.
But he didn't want to lose Watari like he had lost Tsuzuki. He didn't want their carefully crafted friendship to splinter and go down the destructive, degenerative path that he and the violet eyed Shinigami had gone. It would be too devastating to experience that again. So Tatsumi told himself he would have to be satisfied with friendship and the occasional teasing glance sent his way.
But then Kyoto had happened and the secretary realized just how lonely he was behind his desk, how often he wished for a gold-haired distraction to waltz into his office. He realized how short the afterlife was, and that Watari could be taken away from him without a moment's notice. It had really only been a matter of time before he 'snapped', one way or another on that front. He put a hand to his forhead and sighed. He really should have expected this.
Tatsumi looked down at his paperwork, annoyed at the lack of distinction on his skin, the absence of any kind of shade was positively eerie. Where was that damn shadow, and what was it doing anyways?
~~~ (If Tatsumi knew, he would have been seeing Watari about a heart attack.)
~~~~~~~RANDOM TANGENTS MAY OR MAY NOT BE USED~~~~
{This might just be used in a different story entirely now..} "Oh by the way Tatsumi. You didn't happen to die of a snakebite did you?"
"No why?"
"Because your blood seems to have been replaced with viper's venom!"
~~The Reason this piece is called 'Shadow Tease' >D
Paurie
Awright, it's finally up! Sure, it's not done yet, but still~ <3 Something to feed me till it is. :3
As I thought I would, I love it. It's such a great idea, and I really want to read some Tats angst. X3 The second last paragraph was really nice. <3 (I'm not sure... why?)
Anyway, mooooooooore! (I'm always saying that to you... >> Oh well, it's what fangirls say.) More! <3
(I'm always saying that to you... >> Oh well, it's what fangirls say.) More! <3