Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 2:36 am Post subject: In the bereau
I'm not sure what's going on, but Hisoka seems to think that Tsuzuki was possessed after all. He told me to leave for the ministry and to wait there with Kazusa. Now the whole building is shaking. Kazusa is scared to death and I can't really blame her. That demon is after her after all. I can't help but feel that I should be doing something, but knowing these shinigmi, there's probably nothing I can do.
No...I can't think that way. If there's even the slightest chance that I can do something, I have to try. I'm going to help Tsuzuki and Hisoka.
*runs off, dropping the notebook with a slight scribble that is unreadable*
Oh wow.....with everything that has happened, Im not really sure what to say. Tsuzuki was actually posessed by Sagatanasu and he tried t attack me...er...Hisoka,(who was dressed as me at the time). He'd thought he'd killed me, so he went to the Ministry of Hades to collect Kazusa's soul as per his contract with Otonashi, Kazusa's father. But he found out that I was still alive and tried to tear apart the ministry to kill me and her. I wasn't o much help at first, because there was really nothing I could do. I knew no magic, and had no weapons. As I watched Hisoka risk his life and Tsuzuki's as well just to save us both, I couldn't help but think back to the promise the day I first found out about the ministry and the contract in my cornea. Tsuzuki had promised to protect me and not let anything happen to me. But here was Hisoka, nearly dying for me and Kazusa. After we thought Sagatanasu had killed Hisoka, he moved further into the ministry, destroying everything in his path. I was left behind as Watari-san and the older man called Konoe went after him. I couldn't sit and do nothing, so I ran after them. When I saw them again, I heard Sagatanasu telling Hisoka, who'd survived somehow, that Tsuzuki was living through a memory where he'd done something awful. Of course, I really didn't care about his past, so I decided right then and there that I would help him. I called out to him, hoping to draw him out from within himself. I felt something in me give way and it was almost as though I was sucked into Tsuzuki's thoughts. I saw him, crying and shivering like a lost child, the voices around him telling him how horrible he was. I spoke up, telling him me feelings, thinking that my love would be able to at least crack the hate that was stored within his mind and heart. I guess it worked because the next thing I knew, I was outside of Tsuzuki's mind again and watching Sagatanasu erupt from his back like volcanic ash from the earth's crust. And just like the wall of cloud rushing down a mountain, I saw Sagatanasu rush at me. The last thing I remembered was hearing Tsuzuki call my name and then evrything went black.
When I woke up, I was told that I'd been out for a few days and I found out upon telling Kazusa that we should go home that she's dead. Watari-san said that if she'd stayed hidden, she would have been safe, but she chose to die for me. I feel terrible now. She gave her life for me and I wasn't even able to keep a promise to her that I would play the violin for her......
.....but I think that she wanted it to be this way. I'm not sure how, but i still have the feeling that she and the others are watching me. Like at the concert after I came back. I could feel them there. And for them I played the Devil's Trill. All by myself, without the help of some demonic violin. There was a basket of flowers brought to me afterwards with no name on it, but I knew who it was from. It was from them. The ones who saved my life. The ones who I owe everything to. Tsuzuki, Watari, Hisoka..... Kazusa....
......I owe them all everything.
They never met me after the concert, but I know I'll meet them again. Untill then, I guess this is over. Once I doo see them agin, I'll definitly have to pick up this book again and write about it. And untill then, every song I ever play is for them. I hope music finds them, wherever they are.
Wow, I feel as though I'm re-finding an old treasure. I haven't seen this book in...... a long time. Re-reading it, I wonder if the people I met remember me. Of course, it has been quite some time. A year almost. I find myself wondering about them now, as I go on with my daily life. When I see them again (yes, I still have that feeling that I will meet them again) I wonder if they'll have changed much. Of course, as shinigami, I don't think they can change much. They're stuck in the same bodies they've alwayse had. Will they look at me and be surprised that I've grown, when they never change? Will I have met up to their expactations? Do they have any expectations? Or am I fooling myself in that the only people I've ever thought of as family might still have me on their minds, even though they obviously have better things to do? Maybe......
~But I'll never know by sitting here and doing nothing. I've got to get out there, keep my promise to Tsuzuki, become strong. Maybe one day, by questions will be anwsered.
Here I am again. It's been...... about another half year since I last picked up this book and wrote in it. I guess I'm lucky to be able t write in it again so soon. This time, I'm writing because I've actually met up with a Shinigami again. Just yesterday I met up with the shinigami Watari Yutaka, the one who decripted the coding in my eye back when Sagatanasu was trying to kill me. I ran into him on the street and he invited me over for lunch. then, after school I found out that I wasn't going to be allowed to stay in the dorms because of something Saionji did. Now he wants me to stay with him. He seems excited. I'm still in shock and can't figure out how I'll ever thank him. I'd better go pack, I'm going to be moving into his apartment later today, so I have to be ready. Luckily, there isn't much to pack.
okaaaaayyyy..... so here I am, writing in this book again. It seems that there's really nothing better to do. Watari's at work, and I'm stuck here in bed. In all honesty, he'd probably rather I was asleep, but I can't sleep because of all the coughing I've been doing. I woke up yesterday morning and was sicker than a dog. He called the school to let them know I wasn't going and then he sent Tatsumi to take care of me for a while. I like Tatsumi, thought he's a little awkward at times.... he's a good guy.
Aaaaggg... my throat hurts... there, 've taken my medicine and I should be out within a few minutes. While I wait, I figure I'll write more.
The dinner the other night went really well. Of course, Hisoka's as blunt as ever, but that's just him. Tsuzuki and Watari had me laughing so hard that I nearly choked on my dinner. I thuroughly enjoyed their company and hope that we can go out again some time.
Okay... seems that the medicine is starting to take affect. *The handwriting becomes messy* I was hoping to write more but I guess the better option is to go to sleep. I need to get better for Waari~~~
*ends in a squiggling line that looks like it should be letters, but isn't. Light snoring is heard in the room*
Once again, I've been forgetting to write daily as I had planned before. I'm long since over that cold I had and things are changing rapidly. I'm thinking about asking Watari if he'll consider letting me get a job. I don't think he'll like the idea, but I feel that it's important that I get one. Maybe I could work at a grocery store, or as an assistant somewhere. I want my future job to have something to do with the violin of course, bu for now I think I'll stick to something else. It might help me to learn something that'll help me for the future.
I think Watari's home, I'd better go see him. I want to make sure that he didn't get his head busted in by Tatsumi for the stunt he pulled the other day.
~Hijiri~
I FOUND IT!! I finally found this book. I knew I had it somewhere, but I couldn't find it for the life of me. Re-reading over what I wrote before, I can't believe how long it's been since I last wrote. I was 18 or 19 years old when I last wrote in this and I was still in school, and living with Watari. Now look at me. I'm 25 and am out on my own. I've been living in America for the past year, searching for.... well... something. I'm not sure what it is I'm supposed to do anymore. Eerything's calling me in so many different directions and there's too much to do at once. Ah the life of an adult. Maybe I should go back and visit Watari? I miss him a lot. And there's really nothing for me hear anymore.
It's decided. I'll go back to Japan and pick up where I left off. There are no seeds sewn here that I must reap, so I'll just go. Japan..... I wonder if there's anything left for me....... ?
well, I saw Watari again. He's the same as ever. It felt kindof strange to see him again and.. well.. him having not changed since I was younger made me feel kinda old. Of course, Watari's always had a way of making me feel more mature than I thought I was. Am I making sense?
Anyway, he seemed pleased to see me. We talked about old times, laughing a lot. It was a relief to talk to him, but he seemed a bit..... tired. We talked for a few hours, catching up on everything. He asked me to play for him, for old time's sake, and I did. I was a little rusty, but it came back quick. A lot of people stopped to listen and I actually got applause again. Back in america... well... I rarely play anymore... let's just say that... Oh, there's the phone, I'd better go.
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